• Thank you very much for trusting us with your innermost feelings. 

• All divorces by their very nature are inherently messy – even if they are by mutual consent.

• It is the festering wounds of a failed relationship that linger on for a long time and suck your energy daily.

• Whenever a sudden or major change happens in any person’s life, then he or she essentially has to go through a period of readjustment with the new equations of life.

• This is compulsory and common for all human beings in any culture or country.

• It is a Natural Law like The Law of Gravity – invisible but applicable impartially to all.

• That is why Severe Anxiety is a very common consequence of most divorces.

• Please click here to know whether you have Severe Anxiety or the usual anxiety………

• Dr. Sudhir Arora got married very early. 

• Within one week the couple realized that they were not meant for each other. 

• Yet they continued together for more than 16 long years, quarreling and fighting, trying to make it work somehow. 

• During this time, they hurt each other terribly.

• The emotional wounds created more viciousness, bitterness, and resentment in the relationship.

• Finally, it all ended in a legal divorce by mutual consent in 1993 in Pune.

• Immediately, Dr. Arora, a North Indian Punjabi, looked for a new partner through the matrimonial columns and marriage agencies.

• Within 2 months he found and married his soul mate, Madhushree, a South Indian Kannad Maharashtrian.

• It has been a heavenly union ever since – their life’s finest example of G.O.D. – Grand Overall Design. 

• Being made for each other, it has been the best period of their lives. 

• So whatever truths he shows you in these pages or during his counseling and training sessions come from his personal experience. 

• There is nothing theoretical or bookish about his training sessions.

• In fact, all knowledge and techniques that you find in any of the pages of this big website come only from his life’s personal bitter and sweet experiences.

• He has gone through a lot of emotional turmoil and physical hardships in his own life.

• But God also showed him the various truths and insights to solve his problems. 

• That’s why he can lead a life of abundance and fulfillment in his second marriage with his soul mate, Madhushree.

• Their marriage is the living proof that miracles do happen if you are open and willing to learn the lessons that life has to teach you in this lifetime.

• That’s why they have a very d-e-e-e-e-e-p seated desire to help other human beings come out of their suffering of divorce.

• This is done by helping them to go through with the 4 stages of adjustment………

I] The first phase of shock and denial

• An example.

When you hear of your best friend’s sudden demise then you are shocked. 

Your next immediate reaction is ‘No! I don’t believe it. It must be some other person with the same name'. 

Then you keep on praying and wishing that this information must come out to be untrue.

When you reach the hospital and see for yourself the reality then you adjust and go on to the next phase harmlessly usually.

• In most cases of life, this phase is very insignificant or small. But still, it is always there.

• Nevertheless, at times you don’t come out of the first phase so easily when the enormity of the shock is too much for your subconscious mind to comprehend initially.

• For example, the parents remain shocked and in denial for many days or weeks on hearing that their only son of 3 years has got leukemia and will not survive much longer.

The parents keep on visiting different specialists or doctors of different medical systems hoping for a miracle.

• A gentleman becomes bankrupt practically overnight when his factory and the office safe with a few lakhs of rupees were gutted in a devastating fire accident.

His family remains shocked and dazed for many days. 

Although they lost all their money they continued to behave in their usual wealthy way in their social circle.

This denial went on for many weeks till the creditors openly started harassing them.

• Similarly, you also would have been dazed in the days or months preceding your final divorce.

This would have happened when you realized that your marriage had irrevocably broken down.  

You also would have denied this possibility to yourself for a long time and tried to be as normal as before. Do you agree?………

II] The second phase of emotional turmoil

• Very soon you land up in intense emotional upheaval. 

• Initially, you feel very angry – angry on your partner, on yourself for being so stupid and naïve, on your kids or other family members, on the injustice of God, on your friends and colleagues, on small petty matters – in fact, on anything and everything.

• Then you feel very guilty for hurting so many people in the journey of life. 

• You feel lousy about your whole existence.

• Suddenly, your moods can swing over to extreme sadness. 

• You may feel depressed and have crying spells out of blue for no obvious reason.

• Or you may feel very negative and a loser without any clear reasoning.

• Then you might feel numb or dumb in any normal situation.

• You may feel that your life has been devastated by an emotional cyclone. 

• It is a very catastrophic and fearful feeling.

• But like all other feelings are temporary, this also comes and disappears soon. 

• Sometimes happy and sometimes suddenly sad - all these emotions can come at random at any time without any warning.

• In this whole process there can be a feeling of total confusion within you and chaos outside you.

• You may feel like totally bottling up everything within yourself or may have a very strong urge to let out your steam like a steam engine to your well-wishers. 

• At times you may drown yourself in your work. 

• At other times you may feel like running away from everything to an ashram to become a monk or nun.

• A very common mistake is to take the help of addictions like alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc. to tide over this feeling of crisis and fire-fighting.

• You may avoid all contact with the opposite sex.

• Alternatively, suddenly you may become very promiscuous and have multiple relationships.

• You may withdraw from your friends and become isolated. 

• You may even escape to the mountains. 

• You may change jobs frequently or insult your boss or colleagues in your double dose of crankiness. 

• You may become a very doting mother or father to your kids. 

• Or suddenly you may leave all your family responsibilities and just run away.

• Conversely, you might feel very relieved and free of all your tensions. 

• You may feel like giggling like teenagers or jumping like children.

• No one can predict any of the above in any sequence. 

• It’s entirely the Will of G.O.D. – Generator, Operator, Destroyer!………

III] The third phase of bargaining with life

• All the above turmoil takes place over some time at its own pace. 

• You just cannot hurry up this process.

• That’s why they say that only time is a big healer.

• Slowly you progress towards self-healing. 

• Now you start bargaining with life! 

• You visit babas and saints, become a disciple of a famous guru, start 14 Mondays’ fasts, follow astrology, palmistry, or numerology, go to temples, learn some mantras, start giving charity or donate big money to your religious place. 

• Or you start reading self-growth books, attending self-development workshops, depending upon pyramids or crystals, or changing your home and office’s Vastu.

• All these are very very good if they serve your purpose – that is of bargaining with life to decrease your mental anguish and turmoil………

Iv] The fourth phase of acceptance of reality

• Very soon you start accepting the reality that things have changed for ever in your life. 

• That the good old times are over. 

• That you have to go on with your new life under new rules. 

• In the end, you can even laugh about your whole experience. 

• That day your adjustment period is finally over………

• Lots of them – all beautiful and life-transforming!

• The 3 most important pearls of wisdom that life has shown to you are:

I] This lifetime is a training school for your soul’s evolutionary growth

• Be open, be willing to learn your lessons well.

• Our Mother Earth is a training school for the spiritual evolution of your soul. 

• Your soul has had a long, long journey through various lifetimes on this beautiful planet.

• It had variously pleasurable as well as painful experiences during this mysterious journey.

• Every experience added something to its growth.

• Whatever was needed for its evolution to the next level was provided in that particular lifetime through your relationships. 

• So in this lifetime, this particular experience had to happen to both of you.

• You were supposed to give each other some pain and some pleasure so that both the souls evolved to the next level in your own different ways………

II] Your attachments lead to your destruction

• You always have some expectations from your spouse and other people around you.

• It is the normal quality of a normal mind. Nothing is wrong with this.

• However, it is your attachment and fixation on your expectations that destroy your relationships. 

• For example, you have a desire that Bollywood’s superstar should come to your home to stay there for a week.

Not a wrong fantasy – it might even come true!

But if you insist that come what may, it must happen the way you desire, then it’s going to be one hell of a life.

What do you feel? Do you agree?

• The same thing is true about all your other desires and expectations.

• They make your life interesting, challenging, and worth living undoubtedly.

• Surely, they add spice to your relationships.

• But it is your fixation and attachment ‘I must get what I want anyhow, even if it means hurting myself or others’ that finally destroys your peace of mind and your relationships………

III] Resistance leads to persistence and acceptance leads to disappearance.

• Every emotional release is a catharsis and liberation for you from your pent-up anxiety, anger, and insecurity.

• What is most important is not to resist, suppress or avoid any emotion, howsoever sad or depressing at any time. 

• You have to compulsorily go through all this in your adjustment period. 

• That’s the Will of G.O.D. – Grand Overall Design!

• If you resist, suppress, or avoid any of the negative feelings then they will chase you day and night and resurface at odd times. 

• Your life will become more hellish then. 

• Short-term pain, long-term gain. 

• Conversely, short-term gain, long-term pain! 

• Deliberately choose the short-term pain of going through the whole turmoil willingly without any resistance. 

• It does sound very difficult, undoubtedly.

• But this will definitely and surely hasten your self-healing process of readjustment.

• The alternative of avoidance or suppression is too, too painful over a big period………

• Yes, definitely you can.

• That is to learn and practice advanced mind power techniques. 

• They will be a great, great help to you to go through this fire of life willingly without resistance and with least suffering to you………