SEVERE ANXIETY OF A LOVE AFFAIR
Relationship Skills matter the most in any love affair
FAQs
Which is better - Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage? Why am I getting attacks of Severe Anxiety for the last so many months?
Both have a 50-50 chance of succeeding or failing.
Both can start causing an equal amount of anxiety in both the partners at any time.
It really does not really matter in your day-to-day living whether you had a love or an arranged marriage.
What actually matters is your mutual compatibility at the physical, emotional and spiritual levels.
Please do read further.
During courtship days both the partners put their best foot forward.
So a lot of potential conflicts are papered over because both the partners don’t want to rock the boat too much.
The deeper issues arise when you start staying together in a live-in or marriage relationship.
Then they can cause Severe Anxiety in some couples because of mutual incompatibility.
By that time, you are stuck with each other day in, day out.
Then only you see from close quarters the other person’s faults and eccentricities.
Now come into play both partners’ human relationship skills.
But before finding faults with each other it’s much better to know first where you stand with yourself.
Please click here to know whether you have Severe Anxiety or the usual anxiety………
OK. Where do I stand then?
If you are not able to handle well your inter-personal communication, then you project your own life’s unresolved issues onto your partner.
And the partner also does the same.
Thus starts the game of blame and counter-blame. This is then going to hurt badly your mutual bonding.
Let me show you with some questions.
How smartly do you manage your time and hence your daily life?
Poor time management and lack of pounctualty cause huge stress in any relationship.
This underlying anxiety determines to a huge extent whether you get along well with your partner or not.
Are you indecisive or do you take bold prompt decisions?
It definitely determines to a great extent whether you get along calmly and comfortably with each other or not.
How do you personally manage your stress, tensions and worries?
Does any one of you use your partner as a punching bag?
It has a huge bearing on your relationship.
How do you manage your own deeper fear and insecurities?
The more insecure or fearful you feel, less becomes the love in yoiur marriage.
It basically determines how well you get along with your partner to a big extent.
How well you manage your own frustrations and anger?
Same question is true for your partner too.
It determines crucially the sanctity of your relationship.
How well you personally handle money, save and invest it properly?
Is any one of you has a habit of spending too much?
It too determine the stability of your relationship to very large degree.
Similarly, how well you manage your own deeper guilt on various issues like religion, sex, etc. will shape the beauty or ugliness of your relationship.
Again it cause Severe Anxiety in some couples.
Your laziness and procrastination will also cause huge, huge, huge fissures or anxiety in your relationship finally.
So, you see, it’s not the question of a love marriage or an arranged marriage.
It’s you who is important.
Your outer world is merely a reflection of your inner world.
The more you feel anxious inside you because of any, any, any reason, the worse is your relationship at the outer level………
Got it loud and well. I am in love. Is it a sin?
Love is a sin? Not at all!
On the contrary, my dear, you are the luckiest fellow.
Yes, agreed that most people in our society usually do not approve of such ‘misadventures’, especially by females.
But in this twenty first century our social values are changing quite fast, at least in the cities.
Everybody dreams of falling in love one day somehow.
But how many are fortunate enough to actually experience at least once in their whole life this most divine feeling?
Most people never get a chance to meet their soul mates in their whole life.
Conversely, some others are so thoroughly conditioned by their social structure that they don’t ever dare to allow themselves to even think of such ‘bad things’.
The chains of tradition are too strong for their hearts.
Nevertheless, you are a damn lucky human being.
So just enjoy this heavenly feeling as long it lasts without feeling anxious at all………
What does it mean? Is it going to vanish soon?
Of course!
Please don't feel bad or sad. Just read till the end.
Everything is impermanent in this ever-changing universe.
Whatever is born has to die one day. That’s The Natural Law of Change.
It’s the yin/yang or tamas/rajas forces working in your life silently.
Everything will change, but this Natural or God-given Law will not change ever.
So accept this reality today.
Otherwise it may cause quite serious anxiety in the future for some people.
But but but, if you are really lucky, then this romantic love will change and will progress to the next second stage.
And then, quite possibly, the first stage will finally evolve to even the fourth stage………
That really sounds very good! What are these 4 stages of love?
Essentially all male-female love goes through 4 stages in its journey:
I] First stage of Romantic Love
This is the first stage occurring because of a sudden surge of sex hormones in your blood stream.
Testosterone hormone in males and oestrogen hormone in females are the biochemical culprits.
It’s the attraction of the opposite poles in plain and simple language, though the sexual attraction may not be visible from the surface.
It is the Mother Nature’s Way of bringing the two opposite poles together.
It’s for preparing you and your body for the second stage of physical union where the male and female copulate and reproduce another human life.
Thus, the human race goes on.
The purpose of nature is served at the biological level.
However, many combinations are possible here………
Oh! So interesting. Can you elaborate more please?
Some couples have physical union without any romantic love in between them;
Or they have plain and straight sex for the fun of it without any burden of reproduction;
Or they produce a big brood of children without ever having fallen in love with each other.
But let’s talk about the most interesting romantic love first.
It usually happens in young age.
But it can happen at any age to any one at any time.
You are totally helpless when this happens.
Through any amount of will power you can neither cause it to happen, nor stop it from happening when it happens.
You distinctly feel in your every cell that a great force or a divine energy has taken over your life.
Now you are absolutely helpless, plain and simple.
On that lucky day your sex hormones suddenly shoot through the roof.
Whosoever comes in your contact at that fateful time will become your new point of attraction and your new beloved!
So it’s not really that your beloved is so beautiful or handsome.
The actual fact is that he or she just happened to be present at the right time in the right place in the right angle!
For example, you were in the same class for the last so many months.
She was attractive but you were not in love with her.
Then one sweet day your eyes met in the Chemistry lab during an experiment.
A lightning flash struck. Your heart suddenly went for a toss!
You were now in love with her – so simple, so magical!
There are other boys too in the class.
They find her attractive too, but they are not in love with her.
How come only you find all the godly qualities in her?
It’s all because of your sudden flood of sex hormones in every cell of your body because of some ‘love genes’ getting activated on that fateful day!
It’s like the meeting on the horizon between the sky and the ocean.
It always happens suddenly in a magical moment, cannot be pre-planned and cannot be resisted.
Please understand that it’s not that person who is causing this love to blossom in your heart.
On the contrary, it’s your newly-blossoming love feelings which are being projected onto your new beloved!!!
As the saying goes ‘Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world’.
That’s why love has no logic. It’s a matter of your emotional heart and not your logical cerebral cortex.
You can fall in love with a person of any age, background, caste, social status, religion or country.
No social permission is asked for or needed.
That is precisely the reason you find sometimes a very beautiful, sexy girl in love with a bum or a he-man in love with a plain Jane with no figure.
All your social conditioning and logic fails because these new feelings have come from ‘The Other Dimension’ or ‘The Space from The Beyond’.
There is no scientific logic and none is needed.
You feel spiritually fulfilled for the first time in your life.
You 'know from your inside' what heaven must be now and what God means actually.
Suddenly you become a very emotional person who seems to be floating on cloud nine; you start writing poetry and start singing romantic songs.
Your sleep vanishes and you strongly feel like talking about your love to the whole world.
Your other interests in your studies or work are greatly hampered.
Please do understand that your studies, marks, work, money, rank or status are social needs.
But love is a more basic biological need – just like breathing, eating, sweating, shitting and pissing.
That’s why it wins over all the superficial social conditionings.
It is exactly this reason because of which some lovers leave their wealth and throne to be with their beloved against all social pressures.
Do you notice that we have written such a long page on such a small hormonal surge?
We just could not help it.
Anyone who has experienced this divine love would be equally helpless against this most beautiful inner divine power.
That’s why we say that you are a very fortunate human being to have experienced this rare divine experience.
Your romantic love may or may not blossom into a full-fledged love affair or marriage or the second and third stages. It does not really matter.
But this can cause Severe Anxiety in some couples.
What’s most important is to go through these beautiful moments in every present moment as they come.
They will vanish soon or their intensity will zoom down after some time, let us remind you.
So thoroughly enjoy this paradise as long it lasts.
You may never get another experience like this all you life………
Awesome indeed! Can you please go on as 'Yeh dil mange more'?
II] Second stage of Physical or Sexual Love
The romantic love’s purpose is to create the attraction to enter the next stage of physical union with the opposite sex.
This stage may be only for pure passion and enjoyment or also for procreation.
You may have paid sex, or sex with multiple partners without any romance coming in between. But such sex soon becomes a very empty act devoid of any depth.
This sexual union is the union of the two greatest energies of life – the masculine / yang / rajas / mountain energy with feminine / yin / tamas / valley energy.
It’s exactly like the two banks of a river.
The river of life flows always between its two banks.
That is the reason sex holds such a strong attraction in human life in all cultures.
Please note that we are not advocating any one way as good or bad.
There is no specific morality involved here.
Our role is strictly not to judge you.
You may do whatever suits you and your partner.
These pages are only to show you the deepest fundamentals of life, that’s all………
Oh My God! What about the third stage then?
III] Third stage of Emotional Love
Living and having sex together slowly builds up your compatibility with your partner.
You slowly accept each other’s imperfections as so human.
But it always takes a long time to understand each other well.
You love each other more and more for what you are rather than for what you should have been.
Your emotional love grows upon you both.
You both feel more and more complete, comfortable and secure with each other.
Both physical love and emotional love reinforce each other.
Deeper the emotional bonding, more satisfying is the sexual act.
More satisfying is the physical sex, more emotional pleasure is in being with each other.
It’s a virtuous circle, going up and up………
Amazing clarity! Now what about the fourth stage?
IV] Fourth stage of Spiritual Love
Very, very few couples reach this final level of finding their soul mates.
Usually it happens in couples who have been together into a spiritual path and have very high degree of emotional love for each other.
At this level you start finding God’s presence in your partner.
Love overflows and makes the whole life’s journey worth it from every angle.
You cannot hurry up to reach this level.
It gradually descends upon you by God's Grace very slowly at its own pace………
Marvellous! What happens if the love affair breaks down at any time?
Yes, this is quite common. Like you fall in love, you can also fall out of love one sweet day!
This may happen before or after marriage.
Then you go through a big breakdown of your emotional well-being.
It is inevitably an emotionally shattering experience and is very similar to what people go through during and after divorce.
It is a mini divorce after all.
It does cause Severe Anxiety in many, many, many people.
You have to go through a period of painful readjustment to the new reality then………
But I feel that I desperately need your guidance to deal with my peculiar situation. What to do now?
OK. Just call Dr. Arora now to directly talk with him.
Then Dr. Arora, an awakened soul, will help you through his Online Coaching on ‘7 Mind Secrets’.
For the last more than 4 decades he has been helping ambitious people like you who are having Severe Anxiety and other emotional problems in a Love Affair.
You too are soon going to learn how to lead a Beautiful Magical Wonderful Life [BMW Life].
Please Call him now on his Whatsapp numbers +91 93 71 01 95 17 or 98 90 93 08 15.
MR. JEETENDRA RANE
M. COM, SINGAPORE
" After doing Dr. Arora's course I left for Singapore on a job. There in my professional career the increased self- confidence enabled me to tap my hidden strengths, secure better jobs in competitive markets like Singapore, USA & Malaysia & achieve success. Clear concentration & memory helped me in computer courses like Networking, SAP etc. In my personal life the techniques I learnt here gave me the ability from various angles to take the elders into confidence & go ahead with an inter-religion marriage. On an individual level, I feel that I have changed from being an angry, anxious, & short-tempered person to a relaxed, balanced & intuitive human being.